Your Duck is Dead

Humor, , , , , ,

 

Duck1
Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the emergency technician shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, cuddles has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?’

Yes I am sure. Your duck is dead, “replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”  

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He looked. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill “150!” she cried, “150 just to tell me my duck is dead!

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the CAT scan, it’s now $150.”

A Tale of Two Cars

Better Living, Inspirational, The moral of the story, , , , , , , , ,

Screen shot 2014-10-04 at 5.25.06 PMSeveral years ago my dad was a math teacher at East High School in Salt Lake City, Utah. One of my dad’s former students, Mike, owned a car dealership that sold many high end cars. One day my dad decided to drop in, and say hello to a former student. While visiting he asked, “Mike, tell me one of your most interesting stories here at your car dealership.” Mike replied,” A few months ago a man in torn ragged clothes came into the show room looking at all the cars on display. It was not uncommon for homeless men and women to wander in off the streets to warm up from the cold. When this man came in, he was spending most of his time looking at the Rolls Royce automobiles.

Mike noticed he had two salesmen that could have helped this man, but chose not to. Feeling a little embarrassed that his salesmen were in no hurry to help this man, he went up to this guy and asked if he could help him. He began to tell Mike that he had always wanted to own a Rolls Royce, and it was his wife’s birthday. He wanted to surprise her with a white Rolls Royce, and he wanted to get a black one for himself. The commission that the salesmen passed up would have given them an equivalent of four months of pay on those two cars. Mike called the bank, and the cars were ordered while the salesmen were left squirming with their mouths wide open. They judged this man unfairly because of the clothes he was wearing.

The moral of the story: Don’t judge anyone, even people dressed in rags could end up helping you more than you realize.