There have been studies on twins as children and how their environment reflects who they become as adults. There were twin brothers who grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. One grew up to become an alcoholic like his father. The other one grew up sober and very successful in his community. The alcoholic twin was asked why are you the way you are? His response was I grew up with an alcoholic father, so that’s the reason I am the way I am. The other twin was asked why he was so successful. He responded with “my father was an alcoholic, so I promised myself I would never become like my father.” It all comes down to attitude.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact attitude has on our life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, education, money, circumstances, failures, successes, and what other people think, or say, or do. It is more important than appearance, our talents or skills. It will make or break a company, a church, or a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is focus our attitude toward the positive.
Many people make excuses for failure, excuses about your choices in life, excuses about what you feel you have accomplished. Excuses fuel dysfunctional thinking – and consequently, undesirable actions and behaviors. Making excuses instead of taking one hundred percent responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and your goals is the reason people fail or succeed.
Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head. When you spend your thinking time on success, goals and accomplishments, instead of on making excuses, you free up the emotional space formerly inhabited by your negative thoughts and emotions.
The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, whether for the late project, the unmet goal, or the job you work, gently remind yourself – no excuses. Spend your thought time planning your next successful venture. Positive thinking becomes a helpful habit. Excuses fuel failure.
One thing I love to do is every year when it gets close to Christmas I will tell my children to go through all of their old things and give them away or donate them to good will to make room for the new things you will be getting. I am amazed at all the stuff we get rid of.
How many of us are guilty of saving things because our excuse is you never know when we might need it. Then the day comes when you need the darn thing and you can’t find it among all the piles of stuff. Another thing that boggles my mind are the people who love to hang onto the past with all their clothes. They have a closet full of clothes yet they can only wear a fourth of them. There is a reason behind saving everything in their closet. When I loose 30 pounds I can wear that dress again or I can’t get rid of that suit, I wore that at Junior Prom 20 years ago.
In order to make room for what you want, you need to get rid of what you don’t want. This is how it works anything you have not worn or used in the past year, give it to a friend or donate it to good will. You will be amazed by letting go of the things you don’t need will open up channels for receiving things that you will use or need.
Out of the blue you might see a new outfit that is perfect for you at that moment or a friend will give you a new kitchen table they no longer need. It is fun to watch the miracles happen.
Cleaning up your life will be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your family. Remember things are not important. Good relationships with family and friends is what matters.
The first tip I offered last Thursday in my post 31 Ways to Find Amazing New Year’s Resolution Success was to spend the month of December preparing and educating yourself prior to beginning your change of habit. Why is this so important? And in what ways should you be preparing?
First, many people fail when trying to achieve a goal because they are not properly prepared. When I decided to lose weight last year I spent several weeks studying, investigating and building a plan for success. I needed to know the best approach: what foods to eat, what foods to avoid, how many calories I needed to eat each day, what mobile calorie app to download, what type of exercise would my body allow, etc.
This information was crucial to my success.
Secondly, taking time to prepare allowed me time to get my mind properly focused on the upcoming task. …
When I was eleven I wanted to make a homemade chocolate cream pie. My mother gave me the recipe. Then she said, “I will be in my bedroom if you need me.” She later admitted she would have gone nuts watching me cook when I was first learning this skill. The recipe called for 3 tablespoons of cornstarch. I added 3 tablespoons of baking soda instead. The recipe said “bring to a boil.” I couldn’t understand why the pie filling was foaming over the top of the pan. I called my mom into the kitchen.
No sooner did she come into the kitchen when she grabbed a large pan and poured part of the pie filling into the second pan. It just kept growing. This is when my mom started questioning the ingredients I had added. When I got to the cornstarch on the recipe card, I pointed to the baking soda container and said I added cornstarch. I was then told, “This pie filling is no good. When you thought you were adding cornstarch you were adding baking soda.” You can do everything just right except for one thing, ending up with a huge disaster.
Years later when I was 18 I had an opportunity to work at two separate places that made pies. I learned different techniques of pie making from both places. The Saturday before Thanksgiving I spent 18 hours making pies at Marie Calendar’s. I am thankful for my training in pie making.
I have found myself showing several women’s groups how to make the perfect pie crust, and delicious pie fillings. My failure as a child was a stepping stone to my success with making pies today.
When you ask questions, not acting like you know it all, you will learn. I still find new ways to make things better from my past mistakes. Learning what works and what doesn’t is part of the joy.
Essential oils are a lot like my early days of cooking, when I made many mistakes with recipes. Now with essential oils I find myself continually going to my modern essential book which outlines the oil that works best for each condition I might have when I was unfamiliar with how the oils work. I find as in cooking, and with essential oils every time I fail, I am learning important life lessons.