Category Archives: Humor

Life As It Is: Route 22

Humor, Humorous Story Telling, , , , , ,

Sitting on the side of the highway with his radar gun, waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Tennessee State Police Officer sees a car puttering along a 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” 

He turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, the officer observed that there were five old ladies- two in the front seat and three in the back———wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was going exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?” “Madam, “ the officer replied, “You weren’t speeding, but you should be aware that going slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says proudly.

The State Police office, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit on this highway. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. I’m really sorry, sir. I’ll pay better attention in the future.”

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute or two, Officer. We just got off Route 119.”

Enjoyed this story? There are plenty more smiles waiting throughout the Humorous Storytelling collection.

Life As It Is: Dear Vincent

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An old man wanted to plant a tomato garden, 
but it was difficult work, and his only son, 
Vincent, was in prison. The old man described 
the predicament in a letter:

“Dear Vincent,
Looks like there will be no tomatoes 
this year. I’m just too old to be digging. 
I wish you were here to dig it for me. 
Love Dad”

A week later, he received a response:

“Dear Dad,
Sorry I’m not there to help, but 
whatever you do, don’t dig up that 
garden. That’s where I buried the bodies. 
Love, Vincent”

Soon, FBI agents arrived and dug up the 
entire area. But they couldn’t find any bodies.
They apologized and left. the next day, the
old man received another letter:

“Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes
now, That’s the best I could do under 
the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie

Nuts in the Graveyard

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On the outskirts of town there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me, One for you, one for me” said one boy.

Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery, and he slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.” He just knew what it was. “Oh, my,” he shuddered, “it’s Satan and the Lord dividing souls at the cemetery.”

He Jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard. “Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.” The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you it’s hard for me to walk?” When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence, they heard, One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.” The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been telling the truth. Let’s see if we can see the devil himself.” Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet we’re still unable to see anything. The. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That’s all. Now let’s go get the nuts by the fence, and we’ll be done.”