Category Archives: Better Living

My Experience with Skip Ross

Skip Ross Circle A RanchOne of the saddest things I see is someone with a poor self esteem. I can relate. When I was in elementary school I was a slow learner. As a result of the label given me by my peers I became more unsure of myself.
Many students at school knew me, but I didn’t get close to anyone except for one good friend. We would wander the halls before school talking and waiting for the school bell to ring. Sometimes I felt very lonely, being able to talk only to the family’s pet goats. I was thankful for my little piece of heaven on our small farm.
I am thankful for amazing teachers, church leaders, people in the community, and most of all my parents who helped me believe in myself. As a result of them I started changing my self image into a more outgoing one.
The pivotal moment in my life was when my parents were in the Amway business. Part of their Amway training was how to be a better person on the inside and out.
Every week my dad would travel about an hour south from our home in Salt Lake City to pick up his order of products. In part of his order was a cassette tape called ‘The Tape of the Week.” Some times I would go with him. On our way home we would listen to these tapes. This is where I first listened to Zig Ziglar, Rich Devos, Skip Ross and many more wonderful positive speakers.
One day my parents told me that Skip Ross was coming to town. They asked me if I wanted to hear him speak. I was so excited I might as well have been going to hear a rock star perform. He was a very successful motivational speaker, singer and had reached the top in the world of Amway.
While I was listening to Skip Ross live in person I saw a person with self confidence who was funny and could sing. Who could ask for more then that; he was the real deal. I also wanted to become a person that radiated self confidence.
My parents told me he had a youth camp in Rockford, Michigan. I wanted to go so I saved my money. It cost me $800 dollars to go to this camp a huge amount of money. I had a job making $3.15 an hour. It took me a year to save up enough money to go.
This was my first trip on an airplane. I was going to a camp where I didn’t know anyone so I had to stretch outside of my comfort zone. I was excited and nervous at the same time.
Every morning Skip Ross instructed us on how we could reach our full potential. After we were instructed he had many activities planned for us like swimming, horse back riding, and we even helped with the chores like feeding the horses and cleaning the barn. I felt right at home since I did barn chores everyday in Utah.
One day our activity was going to Lake Michigan. I had the privilege of sitting in the front seat with Skip Ross. I looked down and saw that he had a cassette tape of himself singing. I asked him if we could listen to it; he agreed. I thought that was very cool to be sitting next to the person who was singing on the tape as we were driving to the beach.
Going to the Skip Ross Circle A. Ranch in Michigan was a life changing experience. I learned that we can become anything we want to become or achieve anything we want to achieve. I also learned to Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Would you still be at the same job? Would you go back to school and get your degree? I think we would all be the ideal weight and eat healthy. If we couldn’t fail we would have a high self esteem and we would love ourselves. The greatest love of all is learning to love yourself.
There are many different ways to understand love. We also need to remove and never use the word hate in our vocabulary. This will increase are ability to love ourselves and others unconditionally.

The Color of Love

The Color of Love I love the work of Taylor Hartman. He has written the book called The Color Code. I like to refer to his work and use it often to understand people and their personalities.. According to Taylor Hartman there are four color personality types

Reds
Reds want to get things done. They love power and are logic-oriented. They find the quickest way from point A to point B, and then go for it. Reds are competitive and they can be critical of others.
The pros with 
Reds- they are often the most productive members of society. They don’t let feelings or emotions get in the way of their tasks. They are great communicators and natural leaders. They are good at setting goals and achieving them.
The cons
 with Reds- they can be insensitive and selfish. They can be calculative and manipulative, and they always have to be right.
Blues
Blues are the “do-gooders” of society, as Hartman puts it. They are emotional, genuine, and honest in their daily lives. Blues are perfectionists, and they abide by a strong moral code. They are demanding of themselves and of those around them.
The pros
 with Blues- they are fiercely loyal people. They usually have small groups of really close friends, and those friendships last a lifetime. Blues are reliable and dependable and value being appreciated.
The cons with Blues-
The perfectionist in the blues can get in the way of their lives at times. Their high demands are sometimes unrealistic and annoying to other personality types. Blues are constant worriers. They can also be resentful and unforgiving.
Whites
Whites are the peacemakers of society. They shy away from conflict and try to keep everything in their lives on an even keel.
The pros
 with Whites- they have great clarity and are peaceful, they are great negotiators and diplomats, always seeing both perspectives in a relationship. They are patient with themselves and with others. They enjoy the simple things in life. Whites are also very accommodating.
The cons
 with Whites- they can be indecisive and come across as boring to other personality colors. They take a passive approach to life, and can be easily manipulated. Whites can also be lazy and unwilling to take responsibility for themselves.
Yellows

Yellows are the fun-lovers of society. They see the good in everything, and they always have a positive attitude. They are up for anything socially, and they need to be around people. Yellows want to be the center of attention. They would rather put off work for a fun activity than the other way around.
The pros
 with Yellows- they are optimists. They love to volunteer for opportunities, and see life as something to be enjoyed, not fretted over. Yellows are flexible and personable, and connect with others easily.
The cons
 with Yellows- they can be seen as obnoxious, rude, and irresponsible people. They are, however, envied by the other personality colors because of their carefree spirits. Yellows are sometimes undisciplined and often speak before thinking about what they are saying. Yellows can only handle stress for a short period of time.

When you understand people, it makes it easier to love them. One of my wife’s great qualities is she loves doing things for others. On the other hand, she worries a lot. I tease her by saying I don’t need to worry because she worries so much that I don’t need to. Cassie is a blue personality type and very lovable.
My daughter Jessie is a red personality type. She gets things done quickly and effectively. Jessie doesn’t have any problem telling people what to do, sometimes with no tact. When I want something to get done quickly, I will ask Jessie.
My brother Wes is lots of fun. When you want to have a great party or adventure you ask Wes to come. His yellow personality is laid back and spontaneous. I love it. On occasion, I have been known to rescue Wes when he locks his keys in his car, or runs out of gas. This is all right, because I know this is what yellows do.
I am a white personality type. I am famous for being passive aggressive. I am very good at saying “sure, I can do that,” when I am really thinking, “Hell no, I will not do that.” I don’t like conflict, so I will tell people what they want to hear. I want peace at all cost.
When you understand a person’s personality you know what to expect. We all know lions will eat people if they are given the opportunity, so why would you be surprised with anything else.
The color code is like a road map to a persons personality. Follow the wrong map and you will get lost fast. Blues are perfectionists and yellows are not, so why would a blue expect a yellow to be perfect. This same advice goes for all red, yellow, blue and white personality people.
If someone likes to laugh and joke around, why would you want them to be serious all the time? We need to be more sensitive to everyone’s needs. Especially the people we love the most, our families.

What is Your Love Language?

Hearts
If you can figure out what your love language is, and the love language of those people that are part of your life, it will help you understand why people do the things they do. Have you ever wondered why some people love to give you gifts, or why your husband can’t understand why you don’t give him praise? This chapter will help you understand this better. In his book The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman discusses how knowing the love languages of others can improve your relationships with them.
Words of Affirmation
: This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence. This is my love language, so it is easy for me to give others praise.
Quality Time:
 Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
Gifts
: It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. Gifts don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who never give gifts to those who truly enjoy receiving gifts, will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
Acts of Service:
 Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, cooking dinner, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
Physical Touch:
 Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

My Family’s Love Languages
My daughter Jessie, loves quality time. For many years we have had special times when it is just the two of us. We have gone to the Utah State Fair, rode bikes, and have gone to the sand dunes. I cherish our time we spend together.
Jessie loves little children. If you can’t find Jessie she is probably helping one of our neighbor’s kids. Jessie gets a gold star when it comes to acts of service. When the doorbell rings, most of the time it is a four year- old wanting to play with Jessie.
My son Daniel also loves doing acts of service. Every day without being asked he will clean up after dinner. Even when my wife Cassie will say, “I can wash the dishes” Daniel will say, “No mom you cooked, I am going to clean up.” What a blessing to have a son who is so considerate. Daniel also loves quality time. Every night the two of us will talk about our day before we go to bed. When everyone else has fallen asleep, we love this quiet time together talking about everything and anything.
My son Nathan loves gifts. Nathan loves it when Cassie buys him special treats, even just little things like orange juice, or getting him socks when his get holes in them. Nathan is great at randomly doing kind things for others. One thing that Nathan was wonderful at doing is,writing to us every week while he was in Mexico on his church mission. This was a huge act of service keeping connected with his family.
My daughter Stephanie also loves gifts. Last year we were at a boutique in a small town. Cassie bought her a bracelet for our granddaughter. This really made her day. Quality time is huge for Stephanie. Anytime she can get together with family and friends she does. Even when she lived in northern Utah she loved to come visit us every chance she could
My son Rick really enjoys quality time. He loves doing anything that makes you laugh, Rick loves playing games or being in nature. My favorite thing to do with Rick is go hiking or just talking. Rick also likes words of affirmation. It is very easy for him to accept words of praise as well as giving others words of praise.
My wife Cassie loves physical touch. Anytime I can sense Cassie has had a rough day at work I will give her a neck or back massage. Cassie also loves to do random acts of service for others. I am very blessed to have such a caring person as my wife in my life. If anyone is sick in our neighborhood, Cassie is usually right there with dinner for the family.
As for myself, I love words of affirmation. I will do a lot of extra work just to hear someone say thanks for all you do. Those simple words are like music to my ears. I love it. If people don’t know your love language, let them know. I like to make it very clear that I like words of affirmation. Learn the miracle of the love languages. It will change your life, and the lives of others.

Goals Take You Places

Daniel and Leonard FishA lesson I learned from Skip Ross, at a youth summer camp in Michigan, was how to prioritize and set goals. What a thrill it was to learn great wisdom every morning from this wonderful man. I learned that a goal not written down is only a wish. Also, visualization helps you reach your goals. Put things you want to achieve on 3×5 cards. Read them every morning and night. Also, cut out pictures of the things you want. Put them on a poster board so you can look at them daily.
Before I went to the Circle A. Ranch I was getting a C+ average in school. The next school year, I was getting a B+ average. I was also very shy. I didn’t like this. My transformation into the person I am today started in high school as a result of setting goals.
You can become anything you want to become in this life. Skip Ross would say, “Say yes to your potential.” Anything you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.
About six years ago, I realized I had stopped dreaming and writing down goals. Life comes and goes quickly. Then, in the blink of an eye, one year turned into ten.
I have always loved listening to motivational cassette tapes and audio books. So I started listening to them again with almost an obsession. Some audio books I listen to on a regular basis. In most of these audio books they talked about the importance of first deciding exactly what you want. Be specific by writing down your goals and visualizing what you want to achieve with emotion.
I got excited with the idea of making a vision board after I heard the story of a man who wanted to live in beautiful mansion. He found a picture of a home in a magazine. He cut out the mansion from the magazine. Then he put it on his dream board. Four years later he was unpacking his dream board from one of his moving boxes. He realized the home on his dream board was the home he had just moved into. Dreams do come true. You can achieve any goal you want to achieve, if you believe.
I made a dream board putting it on my bedroom wall where I can see it every day. One of the things I put on the dream board is, “Our family loves to travel,” with pictures of fun places to travel to.
We have traveled more in the past six years then I ever dreamed of. We have been to Washington D.C, to see the monuments; Maryland to visit Cassie’s Dad; In Virginia we went to see George Washington’s home; Pennsylvania, to visit the Amish and Gettysburg, Delaware, to swim in the Atlantic Ocean. We went to California having fun visiting the Pacific Ocean and Disneyland. Later we went to Washington and Oregon to visit Cassie’s brother and go to the beach. Then we went with my parents to visit the Grand Canyon and Zion National Park over a long school holiday.
Another thing that my wife Cassie and I like to do is go to a community theatre where we have seasons tickets. We see wonderful musicals like My Fair Lady, or magical plays like A Christmas Carol. These are things we didn’t do until we put them on our dream board. I get excited just writing about our adventures.
The next thing that I do is set a deadline for my goal. I wrote on my dream board, “I am excited we have bought season tickets to the community theater. Today is August 1, 2011.” Every year, this is when we buy our tickets.
Every year we prioritize our goals, then we take action. Smaller goals don’t take as much planning. Our goal to go to the Grand Canyon was easier to achieve because we live closer to Arizona.
Our goal to go to the Oregon Coast took more planning. We knew we wanted to rent a beach house and it would be more costly, so it took action on our part by planning to save our money and reserve the beach house. It was well worth the dream when we achieved this goal. Remember to do something everyday that will move you toward your most important goal, whatever it is at the time.