“Ah, the classic newspaper time warp—where Monday crashes Tuesday’s party, and Thursday’s front page might moonlight as Sunday brunch! Just remember, folks: if you don’t like today’s news, just wait until page 6. And kudos to Robin Shetler for showing us how to make a newspaper sound like a choose-your-own-adventure novel. ‘Turn to page 5 to see what might have happened on Tuesday!'”