Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a gravesside service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man I didn’t stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the worker say, “I never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
Apparently, I’m still lost …. it’s a man thing.
A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if passengers wanted to get off the plane they would re-board in 45 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind.
A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her guide dod lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, “Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”
The blind lady said, “No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.”
All the people in the gate area came to a complete stand still when they looked up and saw a pilot walk off the plane with a guide dog for the blind! Even worse, the pilot was wearing sunglasses!
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
The moral of the story: Even though a picture is worth a thousand words, never assume you know the whole story.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there miserably in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
MORALS OF THE STORY:
1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
3) And when you’re in deep crap, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Irene the church gossip, and self appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old blue pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George, and several others, that everyone seeing it there would know exactly what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a few moments and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or deny! He said nothing! Later that evening, George quietly parked his blue pickup in front of Irene’s house …. walked home …. and left it there….all night!
The moral of this story is don’t judge others. Even the most obvious situations are not what they appear to be.